THE CHANGED YOU- Believe in yourself

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

-BUDDHA-

Today, I am going to tell you a story (well I am really good storyteller)….

In one of his Seminar, a motivational speaker entered the hall with a hundred dollar note…And exhibited it …

Then he asked, “who want to take it?”

At first, no one was raising a hand, then one by one, almost everyone raised their hands…

The speaker then folded and crushed the note badly... And asked “Now?”

Everyone raised their hands again…

Then, the Speaker pressed the note with his shoes and repeated the same question. And again the audiences raised their hands to express their will to get the note.

Then the speaker said, “You see, you have just learned one of the most valuable lessons of your life”.

No one understood what was he talking about.

Then he explained, “ Your worth remain same after abuses, molestations, insults, failure, manipulated and all. It does not matter how others treat you or treated you in the past. Only your awareness about your own value and worth matters.”

This is one of my favorite stories because of its simplicity and depth.

Today we will focus on self-worth...

Maybe you are just going through a worse break up, a bankrupt, a jobless or isolation …

It is natural to feel worthless during such a crisis, I was there a few months back as well after my professional turmoil…

As usual, I researched and read a few books on the topic…and would love to share with you today… If a single one of you is going to be benefited through this article, then that will be the best reward for me.

Let’s get started…

1.UNDERSTANDING

If you reading this article, then I can guess that you are struggling with your self-worth. Lack of Self worth is the main reason behind the lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-care.

First, you need to understand what is self-worth. Self-worth is something internal, related to self-care, self-understanding. It is a kind of awareness about own flaws, negative sides, passions, changes you need.

Ask a few questions to yourself. Do you take other's validation for almost everything? Do you feel unsure about your decisions? Do you think you are good for nothing? If the answers are yes, then, unfortunately, you need to work on your self-esteem.

You need to accept yourself as you are and embrace yourself. Perfection is an illusion. No one can be perfect because the definition of perfection is not similar for everyone. Your flaws are natural so do not think that you are inferior. Understand it first to get started. Be mature enough to accept the responsibility for your own faults.

2. THE SELF IMAGE

Now that you have accepted the fact that you need to work on your self-worth, start with thinking and visualizing your healthy self-image. If you lack self-worth then you are definitely not satisfied with your present self-image. What you need to change to rectify and rebuild that is better known to you than anyone else. That healthy self-image is your goal.

3.EVALUATE

Evaluate your goal. Set realistic goals and work on “why”. You must have an important reason behind setting this goal. Evaluate the importance of working on your self-worth. If your reason is not convincing enough to yourself then you will not be able to continue the process for a long period of time.

4.WRITE DOWN

The first concrete step is to write everything in your journal. It will help you to understand the process and actions you need to take. Studies say writing down is a better way of achieving a goal. Realise that, this is not going to be a quick achieving change. It is processed and you need a proper plan. Writing down about the source of feeling worthless, the negative people of your life, your good sides will help you to prioritize or discard things you need to care.

5.FORGIVE

Before forgiving others first you need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being good enough (according to others), Forgive for not being perfect. You have to be honest in this process.

6.NO VICTIM GAME

Stop playing the victim. You may get some sympathy for a short time but people will lose respect if you continue you victim games. Do not be a crybaby all the time. You must be mature enough to take the responsibility for your own action and accept that the consequences are the result of your actions.

7.SILENCE

Practice inner silence. Say no to your inner critic. There is always a scope to be a better version. But to do so, you need to reflect on the experiences without blaming yourself.

8.YOUR POSITIVE SIDE

No one can be a 100% worthless or negative or a bad person. Be honest and kind to yourself. Make a list of your abilities, positive things. Maybe you are a good listener or a good cook. Nurture your good qualities silently.

Pat on your back for small achievements as well.

9.DON’T GET COMFORTABLE

It is easier to be comfortable with our imperfection. But if you have the scope and still you are not willing to utilize that scope then you are going to face the same problems again and again. Remember, creativity is changing yourself with time. Step out of your comfort zone.

10.SELF CARE

Now I think you know what I want to say here. Self-care is ultimate. You are the most important person in your life. You need to care about your health, habit, career, and life. Listen to good music, have a pet, relax, read whatever you wish, just do it for your soul.

11. BREAK THE STEPS

Break the goal in gradual steps to start with. You need to plan small achievable goals to reach the ultimate goal. These goals are connected with each other and complete the circle.

12.TRACK

Track your progress. Meet your own deadlines. Write down the progress in your journal. Tracking your growth will help you to think if you need to any changes your plan or not.

Give yourself a reward for each achievement.

13.CONSISTENCY

Do not except a big change in a short period. It is a slow and productive process. Do not lose your hope. It may seem that you are not getting a result at all. But Babe, you need time to change an old concept.

14.LEARN TO SAY ‘NO’

Saying always yes do not make you a nice person. You have your own priorities, own schedule. You can not be nice to everyone. So do not try to be. Being always available means you have nothing to do. Set boundaries.

People have to adjust to your schedule, choice, and everything.

15.WORK ON MOTIVATION

You need a regular motivation dose to continue the process. You can keep a quote poster in front of your eyes, you can have a cheering friend, even you can keep a good wallpaper on your smartphone. This will always remind of your goal and work as a trigger.

Well for me great motivational speakers and bloggers worked best. I love to listen to audio books or youtube video. I do it almost every day.

I hope these will help you to increase your self-worth. Do not be impatient, Girl! No matter what happens externally and no matter what’s taken away from you, that does not decide your worth. Remember, if you do not value yourself, no one else will value you.

Let me know your progress, to keep me motivated as well….

Relationship…

Singles crave to be in it and sometimes engaged want to get out of it. Whatever the scenario is, we can not deny that love relationship is one of the most discussed parts of our life. But have we ever thought about the necessity of dealing it with care? by care, I mean with proper love education... It may sound harsh ladies but we genuinely need to learn few do’s and don’t’s to maintain our precious relationship.

I wish I knew all these when I was helplessly watching him go. Then I discussed with a few experienced ladies, read a few books and thoroughly researched on the topic, on the drawbacks, on the incidents. Finally, I realized my contribution to that break-up. So I decided to share with you as well…

In this article, I am just going to talk about the don’t’s... I really don’t want you to repeat the same mistakes...

If you are reading this article then I can guess that you are facing a few problems in your relationship. So let’s talk about the issues…

1. Don’t be a nagging girlfriend

I know you love him a lot and always eager to tell him how much you love him, always willing to be with him. But doing so is not a good one in case of a relationship.

They want love and space at the same time. I had a boyfriend in my school days. I was always busy writing dozens of letters, making a lot of phone calls and as a consequence, he became irritated and told me something that I will never forget in this lifetime. He said, “I know you love me, but honey, imagine you love a puppy and you always keep him in your lap, don’t you think he will die soon just out of suffocation?”.

Give him space. It can be normal to have different friend circles. Respect his personal time.

2. Do not be a ‘Yes’ woman

This is a major problem. we women often think that opposing his opinion, or saying ‘no’ can be an end of our protected relationship. But the situation is just different. You have your life, family, career, and friends. You have your own likes and dislikes. If you do not like to have pasta is dinner, you do not have to. Do you really think having Plates of pasta as per his wish can save your relationship or prove you a better girlfriend?

I am not asking to never compromise. But do not compromise at a price of your existence. Do not change your personality. He proposed to you because what you are, with your flaws, with your purity. And trust me trying to fulfill someone’s expectations are a blind run in a desert.

3. Do not be chatterbox all the time

Learn to maintain a good pace while you talk. Be a good listener. Allow him to talk about his cruel boss, his monotonous job, his startup dreams... it's so enchanting to listen to his endless talks. He will also be listener after finishing his turn.

4. Do not play the victim

Acting like a victim shows your inner weakness. You want his love, not his sympathy right? Maybe you are struggling to get a promotion, that does not mean that you are the victim of your office politics. This is an immature and dramatic behavior. And believe me, men do not like drama.

By doing so you are making him insecure. He will start assuming you are going to play the victim in the case of your relationship as well…

5. Do not be a mother or nanny all the time

Let him do the party with his bachelor gang. Let him smoke. Let him go for a bike ride on highways. I know you are concerned about him. But do not suffocate him with your own rules. He will start to tell you to lie in silly matters son. And that will become his habit.

Above all let him enjoy his Manhood.

6. Don’t act like a spy

Never ever peep into his phone, his social media profiles. And talking behind him with his friends about his activities is a big no. This shows that you are not trustworthy, you conspire, you are insecure. He will never spend his life with a spy. Be a friend. He will share everything even when you are not asking.

7. Do not ever talk negative

If you are not happy with your own life you can not make anyone happy. Do not be a negative or pessimistic person. Pessimism is a contagious disease. He will not enjoy your company if you are a negative person.

8. Don’t underestimate him or yourself

By underestimating someone you can not prove your self better. Do not think he doesn’t deserve you or you do not deserve him. This kind of mentality will spoil the mutual respect. Both of you are not perfect. Complement each other. Do not be the competitor.

9. Do not ignore your family

To spend a lot of time with him, we often forget to keep some time for our families. Do not do this. A sensitive man never chooses a woman who doesn’t love her family. Because he knows that in the future that woman will never take care of his parents and cannot be the good mother to his children either.

To know from the masters you can try these books, the best books on relationship ever: (you can click the images to buy, yes, these are affiliate links, but you do not have to pay any extra buck)

A relationship is a kind of jugglery. You have to maintain the balance, concentrate and be careful. I hope these points will help you to improve the present situation.

It is easy to blame someone but good women know to accept and rectify their faults.

(This article may contain few affiliate links, I hope you don't mind. But you may consider the books. They are really good.)

If you are struggling to sleep, then you are one of the 35% people of the world population.

I know, how suffocating it is. You are trying to sleep, but not being able to. And the thought about next days schedule is making you more and more restless. Being night owl is good but being insomniac is definitely not.

Above all, the entire world's working hour and activities do not depend on your sleep schedule. You have to cope up with the normal and universal schedule.

I have also suffered due to this. Rushing to catch the bus in scorching heat after a completely sleepless night was more than mere nightmares.

Then I decided to solve this. Today, I am going to share the process I adopted.

First of all, do not be afraid of the night. I know you are. It is really stressful. Just believe that 'A problem cannot be bigger and powerful than you.'

Let's talk about the solution, do's and don'ts to have a great and relaxing sleep

1. Do not use Medicine

Sleeping pills are a big no. to solve a problem, you can not invite or start another one. Preliminary, you can say to yourself, 'Oh! I am just taking it for today'. Then another day will come, then another. And unconsciously it will become a habit. And your sleep will be depended on pills. I think you know the side effects of these pills.

2. No caffeine after 7 pm.

Caffeine is famous for making you awake. So this is not meant for you. Never take coffee after 7 pm.

I am also a coffee lover but when I was on the verge of becoming insomniac my Doc suggested me this. And, yes, I got the result.

3. Avoid Alcohol

Alcohol never helps you to get a good sleep. It works on your nerve. It brings back your memories and keeps your mind busy in thinking about unnecessary matters. You know, what I mean :)

4. Use fragrance

There are few fragrances which can help you to have a relaxing sleep.

Essential oils or room fresheners can help you. Mint, Lavender fragrances are really good. I always prefer incenses. You can try Himalayan Salt Lamps as well.

5. Declutter your bedroom

Bedrooms are meant for sleeping. Not for working or watching Television. Our subconscious mind is smarter than we think. Do not program that in a wrong way.

6. Take a relaxing bath

Well, this is my favorite way. I love to have a warm, long and relaxing bath just before going to bed. You can use essential oils.

I am not telling you to take dips in lakes but do small things like using a soothing fragrant soap, lighting up candles etc.

7. Strech and Exercise

Being active is always my first preference in sleep matters. Just before bed, stretch a bit. Do a simple workout in the evening. Walk after dinner. Swim for a few minutes. You do not need to do all these. Choose any one activity.

8. Read or listen to music

Reading is one of the best good habits. But do not read a stressful thriller or any motivational book. It will make you think about that entire night. Read light magazines, novels etc. You can try these books:

Listen to relaxing music. It soothes your senses.

You can try using white noise gadgets. It will help you to fall asleep fast.

9. Meditate

Meditate. There is no alternative for this. You need to let go of the thoughts, failures, ideas, and regrets of the day. And meditation is the only way to do so. I have already discussed meditation.

5 Easy ways to meditate.

10. Make your bed in the morning

Make your bed. Do not procrastinate this simple task for the night. A cozy room with arranged bed works like a magic for a good sleep. If you do not believe me, then just try once.

11. Keep your electronic gadgets away

Do not keep your smartphone just beside your pillow. First of all, the blue ray is sleep snatcher. Secondly, the social media addiction is not helpful for sleep.

Do not watch TV before bed.

12. A darker room, a better sleep

Our body and senses are directly connected with our mind. When you be in a dark room, your body sends the signal to your mind 'hey, it's time to sleep'. So a dark room is always a good idea.

I hope these clues will help you to sleep better. I will suggest you wear a comfortable nightwear, to have any warm beverage before bed and not to sleep on an empty or full stomach. Do not forget to let me know about your sleep experiences.

Sleep well and wake up with full energy.

It is really easy to go with the flow, without thinking about anybody just indulging in selfish interests. But striving for a better person is a better way to live a life.

People do not remember the beautiful faces but they remember beautiful hearts. Success is not about competing with others, it is about competing with your own old version and be changed for better each time. Here we will discuss a few ways to be the best version of yourself.

Scroll to know 8 steps to a changed and better you.

1. LET IT GO

Do not dwell on the past. It is necessary for a healthy mental and physical balance. Well, I know it is sometimes really hard to forget about the past and I am not asking you to forget everything. Because we are just the sum of our memories. Our memories and experiences create our personality. But we must let go of the old grudges, and enmity.

“ Do not be a problem, be a solution”

Sadhguru

When I was going through a tough time two motivational speakers saved my life. I have already quoted a line from one of them, yes I am talking about Sadhguru.To explore and learn life lessons from a guru like him visit isha foundation. He actually changed my life.

Stop blaming yourself for the past stories. Forgive others and forgive yourself. You are strong to do so. There cannot be any problem which is bigger than you. Believe your ability...

2. USE YOUR EXPERIENCES

Let go of the old grudges and regrets but do not forget about the hidden lessons. Remember, every person and events occurred in your life had a purpose. The persons played their role and moved on. Life is a journey and they were the co-passengers.

Learn from those past events and do not repeat the mistakes. It is necessary to contemplate on those events. Asking your inner self, the ‘Why’ and ‘What’. Ask repeatedly and do not forget to internalize the lessons.

Lessons are really very important to lead a meaningful life. A life without depth, meaning, lesson, and experiences are just like the empty vessels.

Experiences helped you to be a girl from a kid, a lady from a girl ..so you know the importance of such experiences.

3. LEARN

Be an eager learner. I always tried to learn from everything and everyone. It is not about self-bragging or something like that. I was never a topper. But a consistent learner. Be someone who is able to talk about anything and everything.

There is a saying:

"A learned lady is a dangerous thing."

There are a lot of things to know, a lot of biographies to motivate you and books are really your best friend. Books are capable enough to change the way you use to think or see or perceive things.

To communicate with different people you need to know a few things, you need to be a learned lady. Your words must carry some value and weight. Loose talkers never get ears, ladies...

That does not mean that you have to keep talking about something you do not know. Knowledge is an asset and the human mind is capable of storing a lot of data.

4. WRITE

Write down your flaws, values, ideas, short and long-term goals. Write down everything. It is not only required to keep you focused but for decluttering your mind as well.

Journaling is a good habit for analyzing and rethinking your own goals. Be honest with your own diary. It will help for self-assessment. Writing down everything is also helpful to be more organized.

We will discuss in a different article about writing down your goals and why it is really very important for you...

5. BE ALONE

Learn to be alone. Enjoy your own company. If you are unhappy with your self then how can you expect someone to be happy with you?

Enjoy your ‘Me’ time. Do whatever you want. Develop a skill, cook, listen to music, gardening or anything to enjoy.

Enjoy your own time to develop yourself, inside out. It is not at all loneliness. It is a power to stay happy without depending on others. Being social is good. But remember, it is better to cherish and feel the person inside you...She is the healer...trust me...

6. SMILE

Life is a combination of hard and good times. But you must not forget to smile. If you observe your surroundings, sitting still on a park bench, you will notice enough reasons to smile a bit broader than usual.

Try to exchange a smile with a stranger, you will instantly feel the good after that :)

7. BUILD HEALTHY HABITS

Now, this is one of my favorites. Healthy Habits are the groundwork for a healthy life. Start small and set realistic goals, like:

- I will drink a glass of water after waking up.

- I will practice conscious breathing for one minute.

- I will skip smoking before sleeping hour.

Well, I know this can be a never-ending list. And, trust me, I will talk about this, in some other article for sure.

I generally write down all of this new habits and a list and give tick after doing it unless I become habituated to doing all these things like - having 5 Almonds every morning, stretching once in between two or three hours of work etc.

8. MEDITATE

You need a healthy mind to get your motivation to practice whatever I said. It is not easy to sit still for a long in the beginning. So, try to sit still for 5 minutes first. There are lots of guided meditation tracks available on the internet. Those can help you to do it.

You can try essential oils, candles, deep breathing and white noise techniques for meditation. There are different essential oils with different effects. Google about a few. I personally prefer Lavander, Sandle, and Mint.

Here are a lovely pack of essential oils you can try:

Some more things you must give a thought:

- Stay close to nature

- Travel alone (solo traveling is cool just try once)

- Practice Gratitude

- Avoid Negative thoughts

- Be kind

Honestly speaking this list cannot end. Because the ways to be better and good are really endless. We will explore the other possible ways in other articles.

I am really eager to hear your success stories. Comment and share with me...

Hope to see ‘the changed you’ 😼😼

I know… how it feels like feeling tired all the time. Trust me, I was one of you.

I was so tired of being tired, that it was like a kind of depression. I was willing but not able to do the scheduled works. I started procrastination, odd sleeping cycles etc. Then I realized that I have wasted a lot of time and decided not to allow myself slouching on the comfy sofas anymore. I started researching the reason and remedies for this ‘fatigue’. Today, I’m gonna share with you the facts with you.

Symptoms of Fatigue

Before discussing the reasons and remedies of fatigue, you must understand the symptoms of fatigue to identify its effect in your life. If you have the following issues in your day to day life, then you are probably suffering from fatigue:

A headache after exercise or work
Drowsiness
Tiredness for a whole day
Sleepless nights
Muscle cramps
Irritation
Low mood
Irregular naps
Lack of Concentration

Fatigue and It’s Reason

There can be a various reason behind feeling fatigue. I will not bombard you with a lot of medical terms, I am just simply mentioning the probable reasons :

Hypothyroidism
Obesity
Sleep Disorder
Diet Issue
Chronic Depression
Specific Medication
Anemia
Dehydration

So these are probable reasons behind your fatigue issues. Before starting any kind new diet or anything a best and safest way is to go to your doctor once and go through a few essential tests before it gets complicated.

Now let’s discuss the remedies.

1. ESSENTIAL FOOD ITEMS

There are few foods that can help you to fight fatigue. These foods are :

a) Oatmeal

The high in fiber breakfast is the source of energy. This food also contains a moderate amount of protein in it

b) Beans

Beans are full of fiber, protein, and carbs. Carbs are essential for energy. So go and have some beans.

c) Water

Dehydration is one of the biggest reasons behind fatigue. So whenever you are feeling down just try to gulp water.

d) Banana

Banana is a fruit rich in potassium. It is reputed for its energy supply. Just keep a banana in your bag and have it whenever you are feeling down.

e) Green Tea

Green Tea is one of the wonderful drinks you can have to solve a number of issues. The combination of caffeine and L-theanine keeps your energy level without disturbing your sleep.

Few more foods you can have are yogurt, watermelon, beetroot, spinach, any iron dense food etc.

2. GET A GOOD SLEEP

Sleep is the most important requirement for a healthy lifestyle. The human body is a sophisticated machine, which needs rest. If your sleep quota is not fulfilled then feeling tired and fatigue is natural.

If you are suffering from sleep deficiency then you have to work on that. Here are a few small tips.

a) Make your Bed

Your bed must be comfortable. Make your Bed when you wake up. Always try to use clean bed sheet and pillow covers.

b) Dark Room

Use proper curtains and switch off the light 30 mins before you sleep. Our body has its own response system. The body feels the need of rest in dark.

c) No Gadgets

Keep your laptop, Television, and smartphones away from your bedroom. The bedroom is for resting not for working. Your social media addiction may be the reason behind your never ending fatigue.

d) Exercise

Regular exercise is good for overall health. Don’t lay down. Just move your body. Dance or just stretch. The increased blood flow is necessary for a good sleep.

e) Meditate

Stress can be a hidden reason behind your sleeplessness and tiredness. I have a lot of friends, told me about their continuous thoughts before sleep. Those thoughts are enough to snatch your sleep away.

3. Bonus Tips

Apart from a good diet and good sleep, there are few more things you can do to get rid of fatigue. These are:

a) Go and get some Sunlight

I know it is really very hard to get out of your cozy bed and go out. But believe me, you will feel the magical effect of sunlight once you get it. Go and enjoy the sunlight. It will boost your energy.

b) Essential Oil

Essential oils of Lavender and Peppermint can soothe your senses and help you to win over fatigue.

c) Hot water Bath

You can take a relaxing bath of Luke warm water. Feel Good. Smell Good. You will definitely feel comfortable after that.

And last but not the least, do not freak out about the fatigue. Apply these tips and be active. We have got a beautiful life. Live it fully.

I wish this article will help you. If you like to read more please subscribe to get the free newsletters.

Image Source : https://pixabay.com

Featured